The Curse of the HUB Seal is Real…Trust Us

For those unaware, there is a long-standing superstition surrounding the Penn State seal in the HUB. Located near Jamba Juice and the upper entrance to the Penn State Bookstore, the seal is said to possess a malevolent power of bad luck – perhaps even the ability to cause students to graduate late.

I don’t know if I’m graduating late, but I To do believe in the curse of the HUB seal.

In my freshman year, I heard about the curse, but didn’t give much thought to the myth. The first time I stepped on the seal, I immediately realized that I was late for my first college exam. I haven’t stepped on the seal since…until last Wednesday.

In an utterly selfless act of public service, I set out to discover the validity of the HUB seal curse. Boy, have the last few days been tough as a result. Here is the story of everything that has happened to me since I incurred the wrath of the HUB seal. This may serve as a warning to those considering doing the same.

Despite stepping on the seal, my Wednesday was not noticeably affected by a curse. In all honesty, I didn’t step on it until later in the day, so maybe the curse has a bit of a waiting time.

Thinking I was in the clear, I became arrogant. I bragged to my friends about my ruthless decision. I ordered pizza to celebrate my perceived immortality. I decided to put off homework and celebrate one of my last days at school before heading home for the summer. Then came Thursday.

Even though I had a 9:05 a.m. class on Thursday morning, it was a working day in class for our final assignment. Since my draft received so much praise from my teacher (and I had stayed up so late the night before), I decided not to set my alarm clock. If I woke up naturally in time, I would go to class. If I got up too late, I would just put the finishing touches on my project individually.

I woke up at 9:10 a.m., just after school started. So I skipped class for an extra 10 minutes of sleep. Not the most effective decision to start the day. I got out of bed and opened my laptop to start my final paper edits. My laptop did not turn on.

Do not worry. We will come back to that shortly.

Thinking the computer was dead, I let it be and left my room to brush my teeth. The toothpaste tube was one brush away from being empty. After brushing my teeth, I had to buy another tube. Now, that might not seem like a big deal, but since the end of the semester is less than a week away, there’s no point buying a new tube of toothpaste before you go home. Of course, I can only use it when I get home. But the thought of having to buy toothpaste myself a week before my parents bought it for me was painful.

My little price aside, I brushed my teeth and went back to my laptop, which should have had plenty of time to charge. Unfortunately, it still wouldn’t turn on. I could tell where it was heading.

After seeking advice from Apple Support on getting my Macbook to restart and trying it out (to no avail), I was forced to cut my losses and go to my second class of the day…without a laptop. My roommate, who is majoring in STIs, said he would be working on some preliminary ideas and should be back online in no time. When I got home from class, it still wasn’t working. I was also forced to attend my third class without my laptop.

With final exams and projects approaching (not to mention deadlines for some top notch content on a certain penn state blog), I didn’t have a working computer. After a late event, I missed out on the top ten picks in the NFL Draft. Resigned to the disappointing nature of my day, I went to bed early.

When I woke up Friday morning, my laptop was still down, but I still had work to do in class. So I went to the computer lab. Because I was too busy, I skipped breakfast, but eventually bought three quesadillas to boost my mood.

Let me tell you, it’s impossible to quietly open paper bags containing Taco Bell’s quesadillas. As I sat in the crowded computer lab, hungry, I made an unholy noise trying to reach for my food. Whether I was tearing the packages slowly or quickly, the crinkling had to be distracting. I feel sorry for everyone who sat around me.

After spending three and a half hours working up the courage to write my German essay (only 500 words) and a creative writing story (also only 500 words), I was able to return home, where my roommate was working on my laptop all day.

On my way home, I received an Instagram message request from an account I didn’t recognize. After accepting the request, I was greeted with a series of insults and death threats. I can only conclude that the HUB seal created an anonymous account to harass me.

When I got home, my roommate was still frantically working on my computer. I offered to help, but without any technical knowledge, I let him, hoping that my laptop would be up and running again by the end of the night.

I wrote this story from the Pollock Computer Lab. Any guesses on the condition of my laptop?

I blame the HUB joint. No – more specifically, I blame myself for stepping on the HUB seal.

I am one of the lucky ones. With no finals or drafts scheduled during finals week, I probably dodged a bullet. Some of you may not be so lucky. If you see the seal, I implore you to avoid stepping on it. The potential consequences are too high. It’s not worth the risk. Don’t underestimate the malicious intent hidden inside the seal. I did, and I’ll probably buy a new laptop.

Sam is a junior from Ashburn, Virginia with a major in Journalism and Political Science and a minor in German and Creative Writing. He’s a Dallas Cowboys fan who relishes the misery of Eagles fans. Any hateful comments can be directed to [email protected] or @TheSammer88 on all social media platforms.

He may or may not read every comment he receives.

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