Here’s Why Most Arguments With Your Spouse Happen On The Weekend

Relationships, especially marital relationships, usually have a rhythm: from Monday to Friday afternoon, everyone does their job (work, outings and school pick-ups, preparing dinner). In fact, maybe you and your spouse feel like equal keel ships are just passing through the night to discuss logistics and where you did or didn’t make your red water bottle child. (Try the car, it’s still in the car.)

But when the weekend arrives, so does the pressure. Does anyone else feel that feelings of anger and frustration tend to flare up on Friday nights?

Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman, relationship experts and co-authors of the book Argument hangoverlet’s just say there’s a reason for that: inconsistent expectations of how to spend our free time.

I will take myself as an example because this totally applies to me and my husband. As the week heads into Friday evening, I’m overflowing with all my wishes and hopes for the weekend ahead – a combination of self-care, household chores, family time, meeting friends, and romantic reconnection. . (That’s a lot, I know.) In other words, yes, I’d like to clean the bathrooms and the meal plan, but I also want to go for a run and finish stranger things and eventually/definitely find my friend Barb.

What leads to arguments is that my husband also has expectations (usually a mix of time at the family park, grocery shopping, household chores, and guitar practice). And when we don’t align on how to spend our “free” time and he lectures me on the importance of organizing a pantry… well, you can imagine the arguments that ensue.

Luckily, there’s a solution: According to the Freemans, in order to counteract weekend marital meltdown, spend a few minutes on Thursday evening or Friday morning mapping out priorities and how you’re going to fit everything together. Plans may be loose, but the point is that you sort the schedule and agenda together. This minimizes anyone feeling neglected or wronged, especially when you’re in the moment and one person wants to clean the gutters while the other wants to veg on the couch listening to murder podcasts. (Totally hypothetical of course.)

RELATED: This 3 Word Phrase Can Defuse Just About Any Fight In My Marriage

Comments are closed.