Gifts and Personal Effects | Torque Net | Chandrama Anderson

By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: About this blog: I am an LMFT specializing in couples and bereavement counseling and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I am the President of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I’ve worked in high tech at Apple, Stanford University and in… (More)

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Of my 5 love languages, and those of my husband too, the gifts are the last of five. We mostly choose to do something together for birthdays and holidays (quality time, in love language). Because I’m very picky about my stuff, I’m not easy to choose a gift. My husband once gave me a nice pair of black leather boots. I loved them, except the heels were too high, and I felt bad telling her they were amazing and sexy, but I was going to give them back. He was disappointed, but he understood.

From time to time, we give each other gifts. It’s important to me to give a gift that I know the recipient will love. I found a collectible for my husband: a piece of original Golden Gate Bridge suspension cable used between 1936 and 1976 (we met in 1976). It’s a piece of weight!

A few companies gave me freebies to check out, and I decided to try four of them, thinking you readers might be looking for a freebie that isn’t trivial.

The first is ThatBlanket. You email a favorite photo and you receive an incredibly soft and lightweight blanket with the photo on it. I chose an older photo of the two of us in the Colorado mountains with a waterfall in the background. We love seeing him on our bed and remembering that trip.

Petsies makes two items: animal-shaped pillows with an airbrushed image of your pet, and smaller but identical stuffed animals. I had one made of our Papillon, Bixby. Fun, huh? I love it. And being the person I am and thinking the way I do, I’ll have to hug and cry when Bixby eventually dies.

Buddha Board: Paint the surface with water and watch your creation come to life. As the water slowly evaporates, your art will magically disappear. . . leaving you with a clean slate and a clear mind. I’m not an artist, yet I loved making images without (too) judging myself. One of my sons is an artist and he prefers to create things that last. Just a different mindset. They come in different sizes and styles. Given how stressed everyone seems, I highly recommend it.

Fuego Hot Sauce plants five trees for every case sold. We liked all the sauces, and for me, who doesn’t eat anything spicy, they were good. None of them were particularly hot (the honey was the hottest) and they were all good. You can spice up your life and help the environment at the same time. They come in a wooden crate that you can reuse.

During this time, we are sorting all our belongings in preparation for moving, and our objective is to dispose of half of everything. It’s an exhausting process, and it feels good to let things go. When we lived on a houseboat, the rule was: box in, box out or bag in, bag out. We did not maintain this rule once we moved into a house 🙁 But we plan to reinstate the rule in our new house.

What do gifts mean to you? Do you like giving gifts? Do you like receiving gifts? Did you have this conversation with your partner? Do you make it easy or difficult for others to give you gifts? Gifts are loaded with meaning and emotion, whether we like it or not. Each person attaches meaning in a unique way. Find out what you are and talk about it.

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